Strength v Weakness

I have been doing some soul searching lately. Trying to figure out what I want in my life. It's been interesting. People pay thousands of dollars for therapy when all you really have to do is quit ignoring what you already know. Most people can figure out exactly what is wrong with them if you are willing to look deep enough. You have to ask yourself the tough questions and not be afraid to answer them. When you do this, when you admit to yourself all your faults, you start to see yourself the way everyone else sees you. Most of the the time you won't like what you see.
The things I have always seen as my strengths have become my weaknesses. But not weakness in myself, but weakness with others. My emotional detachment, my independence, my need for order and control,, and my stubbornness is starting to break me down. It's ruining my relationship. Andi tells me when I meet "that someone" I will want to change. I will want to be a better person for them.
I am so freakin' hard headed. I don't want to change. Even knowing my faults. Knowing that they hurt other people around me. Something I have always seen as a strength is the fact that I love myself. I am perfectly comfortable with me. I don't need someone to pat my ass and tell me how great I am. My insecurities have nothing to do with confidence in myself.
But it's startling to look in the mirror and not like what you see.
When you love someone, should you want to change for them? Or do you look for someone who doesn't expect you to change?