I've never been one to hold back. My grandfather told someone once "she'll tell you exactly what she thinks and she doesn't care who's feelings she hurts." That pretty much sums it up. I've always taken it as a compliment. The fact that you never have to guess what I am thinking. I never thought it'd come back to bite me on the ass.
My boyfriend, bless his heart, is a little on the sensitive side. Not weepy crying sensitive, just sensitive. We just grew up in different environments. Let's just say my family is ....vocal. We yell at each other as a form of affection. Having a normal conversation isn't really in our nature. I'm not sure his family has ever really a good family fight. Pouting is their form of anger. You pout in my family, you get made fun of. It tends to breed pretty thick skin. So I guess these cultural differences are starting to show. Because I have been hurting his feelings. He actually told me that I make him feel inadequate. Inadequate. Well newsflash!...no one can make you feel inadequate but yourself. But in his defense, I don't help things.
My friend Candi (hahaha) and I have been making deep philosophical decisions over way too many margaritas. We have come to this decision, we're maneaters.
We ruin good men.
We've avoided relationships and commitment because it seems like every time you think something is good, the bottom drops out. He cheats, he falls in love, he's disappointing, he's wishy washy, he's a mama's boy, he's helpless,he's clingy, he plays games. There's a laundry list of things that cause us to grow tired of the fight.
We inevitably end up being the man in our relationship. We love the conquest. We make the decisions. We dictate everything.
We compare them to shoes. We have a lot of shoes. For all occasions. It seems to be the same way with men. There seems to be a man for every occasion. And like a good pair of shoes, we never really throw them out. We stack them up in our closet, conveniently in their place, just waiting to be put to use. Because we can't wear 2 pairs of shoes at once. We find a pair we have to have, we love even. They feel right, comfortable. But the time comes when we need those exciting shoes. The ones that make us feel like the woman we want to be. The sexy woman. So we pull that box out of the closet. The shoes. Him. The one that makes us feel sexy. Wanted.
Yes, I just compared the men in my life to my shoes. Do you settle for comfortable? Or go for sexy? Because you can't have both.
How do we know which pair of shoes fits our style? So by having options, we make them feel inadequate. Or is it because they are inadequate?