The Rules...Part 1

I've been doing research. Through personal experience and other's good misfortune I have come up with some tried and true dating rules. After a few sticky notes and a few pages of blogs, polls, lists and experiences later, I think I have come up with some stuff. Now these are rules I need to remember. They may not work for everyone. Take them with a light heart and a good laugh because we all know, not matter how many rules we establish, guidelines we setup or exceptions we make, everything usually goes to hell in a hand basket all on its own...
So here goes...

He texts instead of calls or text more than he calls. If he's into you, he'll want to talk to you. Texting is not an easy form of communication, its a way to avoid communication.

He won't make future plans. He won't commit to anything ahead of time. I had a guy (fairly recently) tell me, "I'm bad at making plans." yeah, that's bullshit. If he wants to be with you, then he will make the time for you, instead of sitting around waiting on something better to come along. Which brings me to number 3...

He wants to hang at the last minute. Why do men think we are just sitting around waiting on them to call? This means one of two things... You were his last resort or he wants booty.

Oh my personal favorite...
He always finds a reason to blow you off. There's a laundry list of excuses for this one. As of late, the one that I am most impressed with, baby momma drama. Even better than the excuses is the straight blow off. Makes plans and then doesn't show up. Then he makes excuses the next time he contacts you. Classic stuff.

Let's say you are ahead of the game. He calls. He makes plans. But...what do you talk about?
If sex is the only thing he will talk about...guess what he's interested in.
Which leads into...sorta...

He should initiate 80% of the things you do together. SEX DOES NOT COUNT. Him coming over for a late/middle of the night booty call doesn't count as a date. I like it when they come over wanting sex and then can't stay because they are going out with friends or have other plans. Better yet, they call you after the leave the bar, party, or heaven forbid, another date. Girl, if he really liked you, you'd be going to these places with him.

No sleepovers = No relationship. I'm not saying this is the way it has to be early on. But if he's serious about you, he'll want to be intimate with you.

He's cagey with the cellphone/Facebook page. He never answers or texts or call. He has to be the one to contact you or he waits 5 hours to text or call you back. Gives excuses why he never answers the phone. He denies your friend request. He untags himself from pictures of the two of you or doesn't post pictures of the two of you.

He avoids introducing you to his friends or doesn't want to hang out with yours. If he doesn't want you to be around his friends, he doesn't want you.

Obviously I Can't Help It...

When do you choose friendship over something more? Is it possible to admit your feelings to a great friend and then just pretend like nothing was ever said? Will things every be normal again?

Just Stop Already

Please quit asking me how I am doing and telling me that you miss talking to me. How you can't wait to see me. Because in the next breath you are saying how much you love your girlfriend on Facebook. So it's either one of 2 things....
#1. You are full of shit.
#2. There's something missing from you relationship or otherwise you wouldn't be after me.

It's not up to me to fix your life. Man up. Make a decisions and be damn sure it's the right decision for you. If you can't live without me, you better catch me, or otherwise leave me alone.

WTF?!?!?!?!

Ok ... since me and the boyfriend broke up, life has been crazy. First, the boyfriend HASN'T moved out yet. Still waiting on his new apartment to get ready. Second, I think all the men in my life are conspiring against me. They are literally trying to kill me or give me an ulcer. Kevin wants to open a business together...REALLY???? Four years ago after I leave town he tries to hook up with 2 of my friends and now he tells me that "he wishes that we'd have been together back then". What the hell do I do with that?
Jonathan wants a random hook up. Which normally I am all for, but not right now. My boredom level hasn't gotten up that high yet.
Isaac...where do I start on Isaac? When I left his house a few weeks ago, my stomach was in knots. I wanted a relationship. I wanted him to beg me to stay or tell me he wanted to see me soon. But no, he won't admit anything. I get such conflicted signals from him. So I ask him flat out..would things be different if we lived closer together? His answer "never know." You know, normally I would take that as No, but I can't completely be this off about him. I am a realist. Not some romantically ill girl who sees potential in everything. But I do like him and I can't be this wrong. But I am not going to chase him. He wants me, he knows where I am.
And lastly this brings me to my major problem. Last night I was minding my own business, having a semi peaceful night. And pop, the messenger shows up. Rocky...SERIOUSLY?????
Talking all that bullshit. Telling me that the difference between me and his "twenty year old miss perfect" girlfriend is the fact that I'm a better kisser. I can promise you that's not our only difference. But I didn't say anything. I let him promise me that he was coming to see me in June and this time he's serious. I can't handle another disappointment from him. I had just gotten over the thing at Christmas. I am tired of coming in 2nd. So once again...I ain't chasing him.

Life is Crazy!

I always knew life sucked on the best of days...but lately it takes it to an all new level. It's not like my life is bad. Far from it. I am lucky. I have a good job, a roof over my head, money to spend and a wonderful family. So why can't I be content? Sometimes I wish I was one of those girls who could be happy to settle, but to me it just seems like cheating. Cheating myself. I think, for the first time, that I know what I want. What I'm looking for. Who I am looking for. I just hope I'm not wrong.

It Sucks Being Jealous

I hate that I miss him. I hate that I am jealous that he picked her. Everything is OK when he's out of sight or out of mind. But then something will happen and a memory will pop up or a Facebook post and it all brings it back. I guess he's in love now and I got what I deserved.

Rose Colored Glasses

I have when I see things through rose colored glasses. The problem is I know I'm doing it. I see things and I get my hopes up. Or I start seeing things for what they could be. Well tonight I got knocked back down the Earth. It's just what I needed but didn't really want. Kinda got my feelings hurt, but maybe it's what I needed. I need to see things for what they are. Sometimes I think I am invisible, or at least my feelings are. I jump head first and I think I can handle it. Maybe I can. Maybe I can't. I just never think about the risks that come with it.