Just Stop Already

Please quit asking me how I am doing and telling me that you miss talking to me. How you can't wait to see me. Because in the next breath you are saying how much you love your girlfriend on Facebook. So it's either one of 2 things....
#1. You are full of shit.
#2. There's something missing from you relationship or otherwise you wouldn't be after me.

It's not up to me to fix your life. Man up. Make a decisions and be damn sure it's the right decision for you. If you can't live without me, you better catch me, or otherwise leave me alone.

WTF?!?!?!?!

Ok ... since me and the boyfriend broke up, life has been crazy. First, the boyfriend HASN'T moved out yet. Still waiting on his new apartment to get ready. Second, I think all the men in my life are conspiring against me. They are literally trying to kill me or give me an ulcer. Kevin wants to open a business together...REALLY???? Four years ago after I leave town he tries to hook up with 2 of my friends and now he tells me that "he wishes that we'd have been together back then". What the hell do I do with that?
Jonathan wants a random hook up. Which normally I am all for, but not right now. My boredom level hasn't gotten up that high yet.
Isaac...where do I start on Isaac? When I left his house a few weeks ago, my stomach was in knots. I wanted a relationship. I wanted him to beg me to stay or tell me he wanted to see me soon. But no, he won't admit anything. I get such conflicted signals from him. So I ask him flat out..would things be different if we lived closer together? His answer "never know." You know, normally I would take that as No, but I can't completely be this off about him. I am a realist. Not some romantically ill girl who sees potential in everything. But I do like him and I can't be this wrong. But I am not going to chase him. He wants me, he knows where I am.
And lastly this brings me to my major problem. Last night I was minding my own business, having a semi peaceful night. And pop, the messenger shows up. Rocky...SERIOUSLY?????
Talking all that bullshit. Telling me that the difference between me and his "twenty year old miss perfect" girlfriend is the fact that I'm a better kisser. I can promise you that's not our only difference. But I didn't say anything. I let him promise me that he was coming to see me in June and this time he's serious. I can't handle another disappointment from him. I had just gotten over the thing at Christmas. I am tired of coming in 2nd. So once again...I ain't chasing him.

Life is Crazy!

I always knew life sucked on the best of days...but lately it takes it to an all new level. It's not like my life is bad. Far from it. I am lucky. I have a good job, a roof over my head, money to spend and a wonderful family. So why can't I be content? Sometimes I wish I was one of those girls who could be happy to settle, but to me it just seems like cheating. Cheating myself. I think, for the first time, that I know what I want. What I'm looking for. Who I am looking for. I just hope I'm not wrong.

It Sucks Being Jealous

I hate that I miss him. I hate that I am jealous that he picked her. Everything is OK when he's out of sight or out of mind. But then something will happen and a memory will pop up or a Facebook post and it all brings it back. I guess he's in love now and I got what I deserved.

Rose Colored Glasses

I have when I see things through rose colored glasses. The problem is I know I'm doing it. I see things and I get my hopes up. Or I start seeing things for what they could be. Well tonight I got knocked back down the Earth. It's just what I needed but didn't really want. Kinda got my feelings hurt, but maybe it's what I needed. I need to see things for what they are. Sometimes I think I am invisible, or at least my feelings are. I jump head first and I think I can handle it. Maybe I can. Maybe I can't. I just never think about the risks that come with it.

That Guy

Why does he have to be complicated?? He hasn't spoken to me in 3 months! He chose her over me. Which is fine. I am in no position to complain. I had gotten over the sting, the bruised ego. She's everything I'm not. He made his decision. So don't call me at 9:30 on a Thursday morning to "see how I am." I know what he wants. He wants me to pine after him, to always want him. Sure, if he marries her I'll be hurt. But I refuse to be his 2nd choice and if he doesn't want me, leave me alone. But the question I ask myself...do I want him to come back or not??

Loyalties

When is enough enough? How do you know when it's time to make a change? I have been thinking and talking about making changes and now I need to nut up or shut up. When can you tell it's time?
When is time to quit your job? How much shit do you put up with before you say "no more." I have never been one of those people to beat my head against the wall, but lately I see myself headed that way. I am letting other people's craziness effect me. Mainly my boss. I refuse to placate him. He is driving us all crazy. He is hands down the most manipulative person I have ever met. He has a way of making everyone around him feel ashamed that they have disappointed him when you haven't even done anything wrong! I am typically a very loyal person. I stick close to my friends and allies. So how do you decide where you allegiances lie?
What does it take to cut those ties? I am not one for throwing someone under the bus, but I am not about to take the heat for someone else either. I resent like hell someone trying to take their problems out on me. If I thought I was being unreasonable then I would be looking at this from a different way, but everyone around me has the same problems. So when do you decide its time to jump ship or do you just ride out the waves?